11 Tips on Finding the Best Church for You

Are you interested in attending church but unsure how to pick one? Do you already go to church but want to find a better fit? Have your needs changed and you could use some help determining which church can meet them? Did you move and the thought of finding a new church feels daunting? It can be challenging to sift through the options and make a choice. Through straightforward tips, this article will help simplify the process.

We want to use our know-how to help you find a church to call home. Through ministering to over a thousand people in one of the most unchurched states in America, we, at Grace Capital Church, have become well acquainted with the varied characteristics churchgoers seek. Wherever you live, these tips will show you how to narrow down the choices and shorten the process so you can begin engaging in a Christian community.

1. Pray

The best way to start is with prayer. God knows everything about you; He knows you better than you know yourself. Therefore, asking the Lord to reveal your needs and His direction is the path that leads to the best fit. Praying doesn't remove all the bumps in the road, but it guides our steps in choosing the right paths and avoiding unnecessary obstacles. It also helps us experience deep fellowship with the Lord which is particularly valuable during church-hunting, often a lonely and confusing time.

When you pray, ask God to help you listen to Him, give you wisdom, help you wait on Him, and guide you to a body of Christ-centered believers.

2. Reflect on past church experiences

Did you grow up attending church and, if so, how was your experience? If not, what did you grow up hearing about church? What images stand out to you when you think of church? Is there anything you love, hate, fear, desire, or are confused by?

Whatever your experience, remember that church was established by Jesus and He wants to lead you to a congregation where you can grow closer to Him and be part of a thriving Christian community. Along the way, keep in mind that there is no perfect church because we live in a fallen world and we are confronted daily by all sorts of difficulties like selfishness, relational discord, pride, loss, disappointment, and fear.

You will benefit tremendously by talking openly with God about your disappointing and painful experiences, as well as the things you most desire in a church. By being still, transparent, and inquisitive with the Lord, you can receive His counsel, healing, reassurance, encouragement, and discernment.

3. Decide what denominations you'd consider

One of the first questions that often pops up when church-hunting is, "what denomination should I choose?"

Unless you have a strong desire to attend a particular denomination, you can put your mind at ease on this topic. As long as the individual church you are considering adheres to biblical core beliefs, you can have confidence in selecting a specific place that just seems like the right fit.

If you are focused on a specific denomination but are having trouble finding a congregation where you can thrive, I encourage you to try out other biblical churches in your area. Sometimes people can feel guilty (or afraid of what family members might say) about attending services of denominations other than that which they've assigned themselves. Rather than thinking or yourself as a Catholic, Methodist, Pentecostal, or any other category, remember that you are a Christian seeking to join others in a life of following Christ. Knowing that we are all one Body of believers gives us the freedom to choose a church that fosters growth in our relationship with God and others.

If you have mixed emotions on this topic, I encourage you to pray about it. Just talk with God like you would talk with a friend. Tell Him about your thoughts and concerns and ask for clarity and peace.

To learn more, read: Which Christian Denomination is Right for Me?

4. Ensure the church's beliefs align with the Bible

When choosing a church, it is essential to know the Core Beliefs of Biblical Churches, and to only consider congregations that adhere to them. Many churches list their Statement of Faith on their websites (though a different title may be used). Read the church's list of beliefs and look for the following key teachings (Scripture references linked):

There is only One God and He is three-in-one: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
We are saved by grace, not works, only through the death (for the penalty for our sins) and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
The Bible is the inspired Word of God.

For more on understanding the core beliefs, check out: 3 Essential Beliefs all Christian Churches Share.

5. Compare your schedule with church service times

When selecting a church, the timing of services (and other events) is a practical factor to consider. In addition to traditional Sunday morning services, many churches have gatherings on Saturday evenings or midweek.

Sometimes people feel like they have to attend everything that is offered. Not only is that untrue, but it can also be detrimental by robbing time and energy that should be spent in solitary communion with God, taking care of your family, and responsibly meeting your basic daily needs like sleep.

Conversely, sometimes we can place too little emphasis on attending church services. The rise in online options for listening to Christian teachings have made it easy to skip in-person gatherings. It comes at a cost, however. We are meant to be in relationship with other believers, and this is harder to achieve when we are physically absent. Don't get me wrong, if you have unavoidable circumstances that prevent you from attending in person then online churches are a great resource.

Check the service times listed on the church's website or call their office if they don't have a website.

6. Watch a service online

If a church you're considering has services that are recorded, you can watch them any day of the week. This provides a great opportunity to check out a church before walking in the doors. It can help you learn more and see if it may be a good fit.

As you watch it, ask yourself

Is the sermon engaging and meaningful? It's not about entertainment but about being spiritually nourished and better equipped to devotedly follow Christ in your daily life.
Does the music draw you into worship of God? This one can be deceiving because the experience in person is often quite different than watching music online. Keep an open mind about visiting a church even if the music didn't impact you.
How do you feel about the degree of formality? Rather than being a creature of habit, be willing to go outside your comfort zone if, though the church is different in appearance, it "checks the other boxes".

7. Check if there are ways to develop friendships

When seeking a church community, it's important to find out about opportunities that foster relationship building so you can share in your faith journey. They may have small group Bible studies, social events, and ways to volunteer, which typically take place at various times throughout the week. Gatherings like these play a key role in deepening engagement with the Bible, taking part in communal prayer, and developing a support system.

Often, churches have a variety of groups to provide for the diverse needs of members. They can include affinity groups that gather people based on shared life experiences, support groups that offer help in troubling times, and general groups that may study a book of the Bible, the sermon, or a Christian topical book.

Volunteering is one of the best ways to build friendships and develop a sense of "belonging." You have unique talents that can make a positive impact in the lives of people in your community. It will also benefit you internally as noted in an article by Angela Thoreson, LICSW: "by spending time in service to others, volunteers report feeling a sense of meaning and appreciation, both given and received, which can have a stress-reducing effect."¹

To learn more, read: 11 Ways to Volunteer at Church (& How to Find the Right Fit For You)

8. Ask around to learn about the church

Talk with neighbors, family, friends and coworkers who attend the church you're considering. Some questions you may want to ask are:

What do you like about your church?
Are people friendly or do they mostly keep to themselves?
Do people hang around and socialize after the service or head out right away?
Do you volunteer? If so, how has your experience been?
What do your children think of the church?
What is the pastor like?
What is the music like?
Is there anything you think might be uncomfortable for me? [If there is, it does not automatically negate the church as an option. It may be an opportunity for growth.]
How many people attend and how much do they fill up the space?
How do people dress?
Can they accommodate my special needs (mobility, childcare, etc.)?

9. Visit

Try to visit more than once and more than one church. Consider trying out one of their classes or community events.

Notice the atmosphere. Does it feel warm, inviting and inclusive? Observe community dynamics. Do members interact mainly in small groups or more openly across the congregation as a whole? Does conversation move beyond small talk?

If you have children, check out their offerings. Is there a nursery and Sunday school? Do the rooms look safe? Would you be comfortable leaving your children under the care of the volunteers?

How did the service impact you? Remember that your engagement matters so be a participator not a spectator. Join in on the congregational singing. Listen to the sermon actively, being ready to receive, respond, and implement the teachings in your life. This can be done through opening your Bible to the sermon's passages, asking God to help you hear what He wants you to receive, and jotting down notes about anything that impacts you. Whatever church you choose, active engagement is a key ingredient in both your spiritual growth and overall church experience.

10. Ask questions you have

Take time to consider if there is anything else you would like to know to help you determine if the church is a good fit. Many questions can be answered through their website, but you can contact the church directly. Sometimes simply having a conversation can provide a stronger sense of the church's culture and opportunities.

11. Pray

Continue in prayer throughout the process. Share openly about your feelings, whether it be excitement, fear, frustration, gratitude, disappointment, or a mix of emotions. Rest assured that He is with you in this journey. He wants you to find a church to call home and He will gently guide you through the process. Let Him be your closest friend along the way. Allow Him to show you anything you're holding onto that is making it harder for you to engage in Christian community. Ask Him for wisdom whenever you visit a church, and if you come across something unsettling or confusing.

Takeaway

Being part of a church family plays an essential role in our ability to follow Christ. It helps us grow closer to God and His people, gives us support and encouragement in life's challenges, and provides opportunities to live on mission.

There is nothing wrong with evaluating whether a particular church is the right fit for you. Being selective does not mean you are being critical.

I would be remiss not to mention a couple of cautions...

Guard against slipping into a spirit of consumerism or expecting "perfection" when it comes to finding a church. You may have heard it said, "if you find a perfect church, don’t join it or it will no longer be perfect." Every congregation comes with its own set of imperfections, but when we come together knowing we each have our own shortcomings, we can engage in the type of authentic community that we all need.

Resist the temptation to run away from conflict. If you are looking to change churches due to a conflict, I encourage you to talk with someone at the church before leaving. It is possible the problem could be resolved and even if it can't, addressing the problem will help you resolve it internally, so it won't follow you to a new congregation.

Searching for a church takes time. You will benefit tremendously by doing your homework along the way. First and foremost, check if the church's beliefs are grounded in Scripture. Be sure to look for ways you can develop close-knit relationships that will help you mature in your faith. And pray, pray, pray.

We want to hear from you! Comment below and I will do my best to respond. And, if you live in the Greater Concord, NH area, we would love for you to visit us!

Work Cited

Thoreson, A., LICSW (2023, August 1). Helping people, changing lives: 3 health benefits of volunteering. Mayo Clinic Health System. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/3-health-benefits-of-volunteering

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